Dear All

I live in Netherland10 years.

I moved out on my own at the age of 16. Since then,I have lived and survived alone,even when I had children,with or without a partner.I worked as a dishwasher,kitchen helper,then later as a hotel cleaner and housekeeper for over 10 years.

Unfortunately ,I didn't have a stable home or family,but I always tried to ensure that my children had at least a roof over their heads, a safe background,a school bag,and hot food. I didn't care if I didn't have chlothes or anything else,as long as tehy had everything they needed.

I trusted that things would get better over time.

Unfortunately,that didn't happen. Meanwhile,I ended up on sick leave,then I got COVID,which brought more and more health problems-which in turn led to more bills and debts.

The physical work I had been doing since the age of 15,combined with 10 years of hotel cleaning, and Covid, caused such serious health issues that today I am 100% unable to work.

I haven't been able to work for over 3 years. Depression,panic disorder,physical limitations,lung problems......and more.

Now I fell again like everything is over. There's no way out. My adult children still help whenever and however they can,but of course I don't expect that-they have their own lives, their own problems and families. I often reflect: when and where did I go wrong,or what now?

What can I show for my life ? What have I achieved?

I have 5 adult children,4 beautiful grandchildren. Yet my life feels like nothing-burdens,struggles,and I can't see the way out.

Our apartment is temporary.We now even have rent arrears, on top of the other debts.

My biggest problem is that I can't work. And with disability assistance,it's impossible to cover the monthly expenses.

My youngest child just graduated from high school and has been admitted to university-sofwer development.

But I'm desperate,because even just the required essentials to start school amount to 2500 euros.

Of course we applied for all support,but they only pay that out afterwards-and the needs it at the beginning of the school year.

I'm trying to find a way out ,even something small could help us survive day to day. I'd love to start a tiny business that could bring secure income in the long term-but even that would require a 4-5000 euros investment.

The bank won't give me a loan. I have debts. Our housing at risk. And our daily survival is at risk too.

In my final desperation,I write this letter asking for help.

Not even for myself -for my child. So he can start school.

If anyone can help,even just a few euros-please.

I no longer see any other solution.

There is no way out.